17/08/11

We get lots of Questions from first timers ... so her is Aunty Hun's guidance to those seeking to get "the sun on their buns" for the first time!

Where is the best place for a first timer?

Well the options are

• the back garden .... nice and safe, but can be lonely and it could embarrassing if your parents drop round
• the Beach ..... my favourite option nudist beaches are really clothing optional no one can force you to be nude! Enables you to go at your own pace. On the other hand it is a totally public environment and there is a risk of voyeurs hanging around.
• Nudist Club ..... another good choice if you are happy with the "go for it" approach. It is a very safe environment, membership is controlled and access is controlled. Down side is you will be expected to be nude from arrival to departure, there are rules you have to meet to gain access and a small daily fee.
• Oxford Street ..... not a good idea, you'd attract a lot of attention including the boys in blue who would be able to arrest you. Nudity itself is not illegal but you'd be charged with causing an affray and stopping the traffic if you tried this one! 

How do I get naked?

Well you just take your clothes off... don't dance around like Patricia the Stripper! If you are unsure ... plan it when dressing.

If you are heading to the beach put your swimwear on as underwear. Arrive set up your "camp" undress .. stopping when you get uncomfortable ... lie down, face down is a good trick. Remove the rest of your swim wear. When you get uncomfortable, too hot or more confident roll over, get up and go for a swim.... There you are sunning your buns!

What if I get an erection?

I have never had this problem and Mr Bun has always managed his without it being noticeable to anyone but me! 

If it happens just lay on it, wait until it goes away! If it's your partner that is causing it get a room ....

If you can't resist playing with it or it happens all the time you are not a nudist you are a voyeur, an exhibitionist or some other kind of pervert ... Go away!!

I am fat, ugly and scare the horses....

You are not as fat and ugly as you think... no real people are size 0.. All size 0's are less than 5 foot tall! All the pictures in Hello Magazine are retouched ..... the rich and famous spend a fortune on stylist etc to make them look good... Take all that away and they look like you and their bones stick out!

• There is always someone who is more beautiful than you to some people ...
• There is always someone who is uglier than you to some people ....
• Nobody scares the horses by just laying in the sun naked!

What do I do if someone speaks to me?

Try "Hello" and "do you come here often?" "is it always this busy/quiet?" "Do you think the weather will hold" ...... Just like meeting some one at a party!

Where do I look?

At the person talking to you... It is OK to look just don't stare!

The kids what do I tell the kids?

It depends how old they are .... We left them (teenagers) at the pool while we "went to look at the local churches" .... Ha!Ha!

You could tell them that it is on your list of "100 Things to do Before You Die" so you have to do it!

Ask them to come too! "Embarrassing? and going out with you in those Ugg Boots / football shirt / makeup isn't?"

Is it safe?

That is up to you ...

• Make sure you are in a nudist place.
• Don't go anywhere naked you wouldn't go clothed.
• Be aware of what is happening around you.
• Apply lots of sun tan lotion especially on the white bits!